Growing up in a place you feel you can equally talk honestly about it and also have the right to slag it off also, you've paid your dues, spent too much time out, drinking, clubbing and seeing the best and the worst.
My hometown Swindon is one of those places that I want to discuss. Yes, we are ridiculed by Ricky Gervais and other media figures over the years. Now, I love Gervais, even if he comes from the wannabee cockney haven that is Reading.
I will give an insight into what it is truely like, especially the scene out and about. The 'Trendy' area to drink and hang out is and always was 'Old Town' . Those that read this and are local will agree that it is the best place to meet and spend time but unfortunately what you do not read about is the scene itself there and the people. We are not all yokels, far from it, what with thriving employment and many big firms located here we attract all kinds from all over the UK, so Swindon or Swinetown as its called is a haven for all kinds seeking work, so much so it loses its identity somewhat. Almost nomadic.
Unfortunately its inhabitants who frequent Old Town pubs and especially the one club most people end up in 'Apartments' is overrun by people who think they are special. Most girls think they are queen bees, dressed to pull some labelled up ponce who is looking down at anyone who doesn't shop at JA 's (Thats John Anthony) to you. You wouldn't believe the prejudice that is around when on a nite out in the Apartments, the way you dress, look is vitally important to these people, this clique that suppossidly owns the 'Old Town' scene.
Wanna know a secret? Most of them have piss poor jobs and little or no personality. They work for companies such as Nationwide, Zurich and the like and life to shop for labels and then show off at weekends. The ladies aren't much better. The thing in common? Big credit card bills, yes folks, its all funded on tick. Spending £100+ in the Apartments on champagne ain't going to impress me. Living a wannabee London lifestyle in a typically working class town is a joke.
And don't get me started on the bottom of town! Spend a Saturday night at the Walkabout to see the worst the town has to offer. Its proper council all the way, however with the right people you can have a good nite, that is if you are not constantly looking over your shoulder or getting into a fight...it ain't called Beiruit for nothing you know!
For all my rants here, I do enjoy living here, but maybe thats because I am luckily enough to have 1. a job that allows me to escape overseas regurarly, and 2. Enough about me to have interests and opinions of my own. I am no sheep to the flock of ordinary.
So, those of you who populate Longs, Mackenzies at weekends and think your something special. Just keep an eye on who is watching you and if you are 'acting large' and being and 'Billy Big Bollocks' in a loud shouty voice just think, 'Am I acting a twat' , most properly yes, but don't worry, I'm sure the little princesses will love it later on at the Apartments. Just make sure you blow your call centre salary on decent champagne! Then again, they won't know the difference!
The morale of the story, Its more interesting to be yourself and not a fucking cliche or something you are not, unfortunately Swinetown is overpopulated with them!
Right, I'm off to JA's in the morning to buy the latest overpriced cardigan!
